


Where Your Heartache Exists

by carsneedle



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, I made myself sad, during the time lapse, me imagining things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 19:49:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14456490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carsneedle/pseuds/carsneedle
Summary: snapshots of how things can fall apart





	Where Your Heartache Exists

i.  
The first days in space, there was so much to explore. New smells and sounds. She could pass hours just lying there listening to everything hum around them. She had expected that she would feel different, that being confined inside of the ship would feel different. The first night she and John were so close in the dark that she could feel him smile when she whispered “John, we’re alive. We’re in space”. They fell asleep tangled up in each other. When she dreamed she dreamed of the ocean, the rocking of the ship and the buzz of machinery mixing in with memories. 

ii.  
Sometimes she fell asleep waiting for John. She would wake up when everything was dark and quiet to him pressing his lips into the back of her neck. Sometimes she would wake up in the morning and realize that he hadn’t been there at all, and when she saw him in the morning his face would be pale with dark shadows under his eyes. Sometimes he would say things that she knew he didn’t mean and she would watch Raven set her jaw, and Harper and Monty whisper sharply to each other in the hall.  
One morning his knuckles were bruised. She kissed them softly, but John wouldn’t meet her eyes.  
Sometimes she would slip away just to stare out the windows of the ship and think about everything they left behind.

iii.  
“I’m here because of you, John!” she said once during a fight. You’re all I have left.   
His face says this hurts. It says I didn’t ask for any of this. Sometimes she wished she was down there, dust like her brother and her people and everything else she’d ever known. 

iv.  
Time went by. They all tried to keep busy, and try not to count the days. They settled into a routine. Sometimes she stayed up late talking to Echo. She started spending more time with Raven, helping her with things around the ship. She tried not to spend too much time looking out the windows at the toxic planet below.

v.  
When she dreamed, she dreamed of him curled around her. The weight and the warmth and the smell of home. But when she woke up in the room she now shared with Raven, the room was empty.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the emo fic I wanted but that nobody asked for!!
> 
> Title is from the song Where Your Heartache Exists by The Menzingers


End file.
